Bigger Than Bigfoot
by Hutch-is-gorgeous
Summary: This story features my brother Rick. I wrote this for Starsky and Hutch Fans and Fan Fiction Facebook Group's Friday story prompt May 2019 Escape … from captivity?... from reality?... from a sticky situation? … from a relationship? … from each other! This story fits escape from captivity, from reality, and from a sticky situation.


This is for Starsky and Hutch Fans and Fan Fiction Facebook Group's Friday story prompt May 2019

Escape

… from captivity?... from reality?... from a sticky situation? … from a relationship? … from each other?!

This story fits escape from captivity, from reality, and from a sticky situation.

Thank you, Arlene (acmabry) for beta-reading the original version and making some changes I incorporated into this re-written version.

Title: Bigger Than Bigfoot

It wasn't creepy or out of the ordinary that Hutch was doing the driving. Due to the fact it was his Ford Galaxie 500 that Starsky and he were in.

They didn't have to go as far as New England to see that the leaves had changed color. It was going on five p.m. and the autumn sun had not yet set.

The two men weren't far from one of Southern California's state parks to look at the leaves but were doing it tomorrow. The park was not quite to San Diego when, "What's that over there?" Starsky asked Hutch.

Hutch looked in the direction of where he was pointing.

"They're old. They're made from red cedar trees and they're canoes with one stacked on top of the other," was Hutch's first observations. "With what's painted on them, it looks like they might belong to an Indian, but I don't know what tribe they're from," Hutch further replied. Pulling the car over to the side of the road.

Turning off the ignition, the men exited the car at the same time. Walking and not running, it was, however, Hutch's long legs that got him to the canoes faster than Starsky.

Hutch looked inside the top canoe, then Starsky.

The two partners and best friends were homicide detectives and inside the boat was a dead body. A fairly fresh one by the looks of things.

A male, about forty or so years old from what they could tell.

###

Hutch had in his holster his powerful Colt Python .357 Magnum and was best suited for his large hands and strong wrists.

Starsky was carrying his dependable Smith & Wesson Model 59 as evidenced by the high capacity magazine and black plastic grips.

Each man with a different shade of blue eyes, in agreement they began scanning the landscape for anything else criminal that had taken place. Not seeing any, in unison they turned toward the sound they had just heard.

Together each man took out their gun, ready to shoot 'it' but only if necessary.

The 'it' ended up being just a cute, little chipmunk. They laughed in relief, glad 'it' wasn't someone or something that was dangerous. They encountered too much of that in Bay City and after finishing their work shift, had headed south to revitalize themselves.

Tonight, they were staying in a hotel with legitimate massage therapists on duty, but before they could go there, they had to go back to the car and radio the local police that there was the dead man. Then wait for them to show up before they could leave for the hotel.

The problem was they hadn't even made it a few steps away from the canoes when Hutch sneezed.

Not your usual kind of sneeze with how shrill it was. It sounded like someone had just screamed.

After that, he shouted, "Ow! My poor sinuses felt like they were being ripped out of my head!" This was his only complaint, or so he thought, until Starsky used a clean stick to pick up some dead, moist, moldy, and bloody leaves. All on the dead body in the top canoe.

"Get those leaves away from me because I'm gonna snee snnnee sneeee"- and Hutch didn't even get the full word out of his mouth when, "**_ah ah ah ah Achoo!_**_" _He let loose with another shrill one, and afterwards he informed Starsky, "See! I tried to tell you I was going to sneeze again. Now my eyes are watering… like faucets!"

"You know your allergies super kick in during spring and in the fall. How come you didn't take any of your allergy pills your doctor prescribed?

"But I took them. I promise I did, and they've had plenty of time to work too! Also, Mister Starsky_,_ I let my doctor give me an allergy shot and though they're not that painful, ever since the time Ben Forest had his goons hook me on heroin, though I'm not afraid of needles, I'm not fond of 'em either!"

When, "**_ah ah ah ah ah ah Achoo Achoo Achoo Achoo Achoo_**_"_!

Hutch thought to bring the sleeve of his flannel shirt up to his nose, hoping to not spread any more germs around and he sneezed hard two more times.

Was it already mentioned that his sinuses felt like they were being ripped out of his head and that his eyes were watering… like faucets!?

Taking the sleeve away from his nose, at the same time the two looked at the sleeve when Starsky- disgust at Hutch written all over his face! Chastised Hutch by yelling, "Oh brother! You got a gob of green and white snot all over your sleeve when you sneezed!"

Then much more cheerfully he informed Hutch, "Hey! That rhymes and I'm a poet but didn't know it! Don't you have one of your handkerchiefs on you to blow your chunks of snot in? Hum?" and he playfully wiggled his eyebrows.

Hutch wasn't in a playful mood! Plus, he felt miserable and looked it.

"I hate as in hate, hate, hate sneeze attacks! And no, I don't have a hanky on me. My housekeeper Fifi is on vacation, and her temporary replacement hid them from me! Come on, Starsk! Get those leaves away from me!" When, "**_ah ah ah ah ah Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!"_**

"I'm sorry, Hutch," Starsky sincerely apologized, moving the stick with the leaves on it away from him.

Then they heard something else. "Shh," Starsky whispered to Hutch. Although it was unnecessary when both sensed something was approaching them that was much more dangerous than say a cute, little chipmunk!

They dove behind the canoes and some large metal trashcans on each side of the boats. Hiding from whatever it was that they'd heard!

Starsky had landed on dry ground and Hutch on land with bunches of mud.

Slimy, wet mud.

Not only was his face plastered in the stuff but also the front of his shirt, and the same for the front of his blue jeans. And then there was the cold breeze that had suddenly crept upon Hutch and somehow not Starsky.

Hutch was doing a fine job of not saying, "Brrrrrrrr!" (out loud anyway) and an equally great job of keeping his teeth from chattering too noisily and giving away their hiding place. But he was in huge trouble, and so was Starsk, if he gave into the need to sneeze again.

###

Sure, in the police academy they'd been taught to keep from sneezing and giving your hiding place away- to look up at a bright light. Massage the roof of your mouth with your tongue, even though that tickled. If that didn't work, rub the bridge of your nose.

Hutch was doing all those things, and it still wasn't working at keeping his urge to sneeze away. The only thing to do now was to pinch his nose closed with his index fingers and clamp his mouth shut as tight as it could go! When the inevitable happened that he sneezed out of his nose and mouth at the speed of a whopping 100 miles per hour!

####

Some people who'd tried to suppress that forceful of a sneeze felt some ribs crack. Other's felt their eardrums rupture. Hutch was cursed with both, he thought he was going to pass out. Not so much from the pain he was in, but more from the awful dizziness caused by his ruptured eardrums.

And if that wasn't rotten enough, when he'd sneezed, he'd felt a popping sensation in his neck.

###

Struggling to get the dizziness under control and finally mastering it, even with the ruptured eardrums and a reduction in his hearing, he heard the:

**Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.**

Starsky also heard it.

The thudding was getting closer and closer. So close that even the ground that the two cops were laying on was shaking with how heavy the 'whatever it was' footsteps were.

Though Starsky and Hutch had their guns on them, they knew that bullets would not work to injure or if necessary, destroy the thing that was coming after them and to murder them.

"I'm sorry for giving our hiding place away by sneezing and getting us killed like that poor man in that canoe," Hutch whispered to Starsky.

It was not lost on the brunet that Hutch sounded hoarse!

Not knowing that it had to do with the popping sensation Hutch had felt in his neck, as the man was keeping hush-hush about it- Starsky 'did' know (without asking Hutch) that his hearing was now all the way gone.

Last year an investigation of a safe-blowing jewel heist and murder led Starsky and Hutch to a childlike deaf-mute resident named Larry and his friend R.C. Both living in of a halfway house for ex-cons overseen by a cigar-chomping priest who ended up not being one at all, but an imposter who had murdered the real priest.

Looking on the bright side of things, Larry and R.C. had taught Starsky and Hutch a lot of American Sign Language. Starsky quickly signed to Hutch that if he'd just let those leaves on the dead body in the canoe alone and in doing so, unprofessionally disturbed the crime scene, he wouldn't have had the sneeze attack in the first place.

The two loved each other dearly and though it was strictly a platonic relationship, they would forgive each other anything. But Hutch, with the broken ribs and his other injuries, along with all that slimy, wet mud on him, was a bit slow by signing back that he would've had the sneeze attack with or without Starsky's help.

###

Then Starsky heard the **Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud**. Getting even closer, and the ground shook even harder, and the shaking Hutch couldn't help but notice too!

As a result, their adrenaline extra kicked in and continuing to use sign language, together they vowed they would not die. Not without putting up a huge fight!

Coming out of their hiding place and standing up, they were knocked back down by the shaking of the ground. But they had caught sight of what they were up against and the thing was bigger than Big Foot.

Hairier and meaner looking too, and with dark black eyes.

Then the beast bent over, focusing in on Hutch and looking past all that muck on him, smiled at him. Having seen someone who not only was handsome, he was beautiful and would make an excellent play toy!"

The creature would be the envy of all his monster friends and "Doll! My beautiful play doll!" It said, picking Hutch up in its two hands.

####

Plus, being deaf was scarier than Hutch thought it would be. He kicked the monster and tried to bite through all that hair, striving to get to the skin where it would hopefully hurt the monster, and then let him go!

Starsky was screaming at the thing to let Hutch escape out of its hands to some place where he would be safe, and was throwing rocks, sticks and whatever else he could find at it trying to get it to let Hutch do that.

He even went ahead and used his gun and Hutch's .357 Magnum on it, being careful not to hit Hutch. And just as expected, none of Starsky and Hutch's efforts at it letting Hutch free seemed to faze the monster at all!

###

Then suddenly there appeared in the sky some military helicopters under the direction of Lt. Rick Skinner. He ordered his platoon to train their laser guns at the monster's head.

Everyone readily obeyed the lieutenant; the lasers altered the beast's brain and the way that it thought. It should be doing good and not evil, and it put Hutch down.

Carefully down instead of just dropping him on the ground.

Then on its own accord, it realized that Hutch belonged to no one, except to Starsky and Starsky to Hutch- with the two soulmates and ideally suited to each other as extremely close friends.

Also, on its own free will the thing that was bigger than Bigfoot admitted to killing the man in the canoe and told Lt. Skinner and his platoon where his human friends lived and had not murdered anyone. But could do so any day now if not stopped ahead of time.

The monster with being such a big creature, went willingly into the largest helicopter to take it somewhere and kept an eye on around the clock.

"Are either of you hurt?" Lt. Skinner asked Starsky and Hutch.

Starsky quickly piped up with, "I'm fine. Hutch is not. He tried to suppress a sneeze and ruptured his eardrums. He can't hear and that's why I'm signing what I'm saying to you. Also, he's doing his best to hide from me that he's holding his right side, and I say he has some broken ribs from trying to suppress that sneeze. Anything else, partner?"

Hutch reluctantly told him in that very hoarse voice about the popping sensation he'd felt in his neck, and how his neck felt like it was now swelling some.

###

Up till now Hutch had stopped shivering from the cold breeze that had earlier crept upon him, but it was mysteriously back again and with a vengeance, and he was still covered from head to toe in slimy, wet mud.

Not wanting Hutch to catch a cold, or worse than that freeze to death, "Give me some blankets. Lots and lots of blankets to wrap around him please, Sir." Starsky, who was a lower-ranking E4 in the Army during the Vietnam War, respectfully requested of Lt. Skinner.

He was in luck that one of the helicopters happened to be carrying a pile of blankets and lowered them to the ground in a basket.

While Starsky was wrapping Hutch in the blankets and making him as cozy as possible, "Where's the closest hospital for me to take Hutch to? But in his car so I can keep a good eye on him."

"Only two miles from here," and Skinner gave Starsky directions to get to the ER's main entrance door.

Then the military lieutenant had someone contact the local police about the dead body in the one canoe, and when they arrived, he and his platoon flew away in the helicopters, with the largest one still containing the creature bigger than Bigfoot.

At the hospital, Hutch was quickly given a warm shower and a gown to wear so the ER doctor could begin his exam.

Starsky was allowed in the room with him, Dr. Fleck noticed, along with the two Bay City detectives, that Hutch's neck was swelling even more than before.

Not enough to yet choke him to death… "Say ah," Fleck instructed, looking down as much of Hutch's throat that he could with a pen flashlight, and right after he finished doing that, ordered a CT scan of Hutch's neck.

####

It was determined that the popping sensation Hutch had felt in his neck was he'd ripped a hole in the soft tissue of his throat, and air was leaking around his trachea.

That, in itself, got him admitted into the hospital where he was given antibiotics for seven days. While fed through a tube to allow the tear to heal.

Feeding him that way made him lose 10 pounds that he didn't need to, but neither was he now as skinny as Huggy Bear.

There wasn't much to do for Hutch's broken ribs except for Starsky to permit Dr. Fleck to not wrap anything too tightly around Hutch's ribcage. Afterwards, Starsky would take care of putting ice on the injured area in hopes to relieve some of Hutch's pain. He also allowed the nurses to give Hutch some pain medicine, just as long as it was something Hutch wouldn't become addicted to.

The curly-headed brunet also demanded of Hutch that he take deep breaths to avoid getting pneumonia.

As for his ruptured eardrums, Hutch had to have surgery on them, and it took longer than what Starsky, Hutch, Captain Dobey, Huggy, and a lot of people who loved Hutch- including his parents- would like for him to get his hearing back.

But 'Thank God' he did get it back because if not, it would disqualify him from being a police officer.

(The End)


End file.
